Do you hear what I hear?   Leave a comment

Papa:  So we decided to make our vacation a road trip.  As gas prices climbed to above $4 a gallon, at places along the way, that decision wasn’t looking so good a few weeks ago.  But since our economy is slipping backwards, and hardly any jobs are being created, and prices of everything continue to rise, leading to celery increases instead of salary increases, because of all of this, gas prices are down.  Aren’t we a lucky people!  Now, of course, they don’t have gallons in Canada.  They have little bitty liters.  Now liters were designed to make you think you’re not spending as much as you really are.  Buck-fifty a liter, wow!  It was designed in Europe by Harold von Liter in 1842 to fool his serfs into thinking they were getting a good deal, taking the place of a flagon when the economy over there was saggin’.  Later, after the second really big war the United States won after meatheads in Europe twice came to blows because they couldn’t agree how to pronounce “Alsace”, the liter was used to trick people into believing their lives were better under the socialist economies which are now highlighted by Greece, Spain, Portugal, California and Las Vegas.  In the latter, some firefighters retire with pensions of $200,000 dollars per year.  Yes, that is the truth. They are not 65 either.   Even some conservatives were fooled into voting to bring the metric system to the U.S.  Because of this I have no idea how my track times in high school compare to runners today who are really slower than back then, because of the obesity epidemic, but WE ARE ALL BEING FOOLED!

So to ease the pain at the pumps, still pretty bad compared to not too long ago, we made sure to load our Equinox’s hard drive up with lots of books on tape.  Except, rather obviously, they are not on tape anymore.  They have been digitized.  This means lots of people, mostly in China, use their ten digits to rub the pages of the books until the words fall off.  This sounds tedious, and it is!  But they are paid at the same rate as the guys and gals that make i-Pads.  So it has to be OK right?  Apple, now as big as Exxon and worth more than, well, Greece, and Portugal and Spain and closing in on California, though Las Vegas still leads in the showgirl category, surely pays them enough.  Surely.  So after they rub off the words they drop them into tiny buckets and shake them silly until they settle into a really small pile.  They then drop the piles into tiny containers called USB’s.  From there they can go anywhere, like into big servers, and from there to your home or work into smaller electronic desktop, netbook, ultabook ( a book with lots of pages) or tablet serving dishes.  From there it is dumped, through a special process, back into another USB which I stick into the Equinox, which sucks up the words and rearranges them and then they are turned back into words read by really interesting sounding people hidden somewhere behind the dash.  They sneak out at night after you park the vehicle and go to bed.

Now we get our books from Audible.  They are good people.  They have the best word collectors in China.  Also the best in-dash hidden narrators.  Nana started to wait and read Fifty Shades of Grey on the trip but we decided we probably wouldn’t get to our destination before we had to be back at work!  If ever.  So we decided to get some books that covered topics we were less familiar with.  We have already begun the Game of Thrones.  We were two chapters in before I bought a book for my beloved Color Nook (don’t have the tablet yet) that is sorta like the Cliffs Notes for the first book in the series.  Personally, I think the Nooks are better than the Kindlings. (yes, I know what I just did).  IMHO.  It will be awesome IF we can remember who is who, or who is whom?  Not the best book for early stages of Alzheimer.  All together we have over 90 hours of books.  More on that another time.  That’s all for now as I have to set some food out in the garage for the Audible guys.


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